If you’re absolutely opposed to saying “I am cause in the matter” (whatever the matter is), are you at least willing to consider it? At least willing to look at the matter from that point of view?
No? Even if that’s a powerful place to stand? OK, so maybe you’re enjoying your self-righteous victim position too much. That’s not uncommon. (And even if you’re not saying you’re a victim, your reaction to the question certainly looks a lot like it.)
Then how about this? Could you say you are cause in the matter of being upset with the question? Could you say you are being cause in the matter of your reaction?
Oh no no no, that is unfair. I am upset because you asked me, made that request of me, expecting me, wanting me, imploring me to say yes, and yes is the right answer.
Well, can you say you are cause in the matter of THAT? And if this isn’t the first time in your life you have ever felt this way, what would life look like if you took the case and said that you are cause in the matter. . .
of being upset and even off the rails
and that that is your style, your way,
and that it takes you out and everybody with you,
and that you take your team, your household out with you,
and that your kids are afraid of you?
It isn’t that you are cause in the matter or not cause in the matter either.
It is simply an opportunity to stand in a place where you are powerful and have a say in the matter.
You might not walk a tightrope across Niagara Falls either, but this—maybe.